


Yellow Love

by botanistlester (Skeletonflowers)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, BAMF, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, First Christmas, First Kiss, Fluff, Librarians, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phandom - Freeform, Phanfiction, nerd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 08:26:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5532506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skeletonflowers/pseuds/botanistlester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The deal is to make bamf!Dan Howell want to date Nerd!Phil. But how can he go through with it when Dan’s eyes are the colour of chocolate and he has a dimple that makes Phil’s knees weak? He decides he can’t go through with it because he’s too afraid of falling in love before Dan ever will. With a Christmassy twist at the end!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yellow Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [phanontour](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=phanontour).



> First of all I would very much like to thank my beta, @moonlitdan on tumblr for betaing this for me! I don’t understand how she’s better at english than i am considering its her second language, but ilysm Mey and you’re a lifesaver. Secondly, as an admin of the Phanfiction Catalogue, we all decided to do our own little Secret Santa! So surprise, Nova ( @phanontour on tumblr )! I’m your secret santa and here is an entire 7k of complete and utter fluff. c: Ily, enjoy xoxo Translations of the French is after the story, if i translated wrong then im sorry cuz i only took four years of french so i had to look up a few words ^_^

“I dare you to make Howell wanna date you.”

Phil sputtered, nearly choking on his school lunch (a bland chicken sandwich with too much ketchup to actually taste nice); his airway closed off a bit around the food as he tried to dislodge it from his throat, gasping for air while his friends slammed their fists on his back to help. “Excuse me?” Phil asked once he could properly breathe again, squinting at Chris with a discerning look.

Chris rolled his eyes, taking a bite of a chip before throwing it at Phil, watching as it landed in his cup of peaches. “You heard me, loser. I dared you to make Daniel Howell want to date Philip Lester.” He dragged out the names as if Phil was deaf, causing the latter to glare accusingly at his friend.

Ah yes, Dan Howell. He was something, wasn’t he? With his pretty straight brown hair and his matching chocolate eyes that glinted in the light. He always wore a leather jacket to school, along with a different girl on his arm nearly every day. He threw those girls away nearly as fast as he smoked through a box of cigarettes. Supposedly, he was as mean as he looked.

And Chris wanted him to make Dan want to date him?

Phil was more of a book-guy rather than a people person, and could barely even talk to people without stuttering and making a fool out of himself. How the fuck would he talk to Dan when he couldn’t even have a normal conversation with a non-threatening person?

“No way,” Phil muttered, pursing his lips. He gained enough strength back to take one more bite of his chicken sandwich, chewing quizzically.

“If you don’t then I’ll tell Chance Monroe you like him.”

Phil sputtered again, deciding right then that he was giving up on eating. “You wouldn’t.”

Chris raised his eyebrow, looking smug. “I wouldn’t?” Phil knew with utmost absolution that his best friend probably would go through with his promise and sighed in defeat.

“Fine. But if it doesn’t happen, then leave it alone. Dan probably wouldn’t want to deal with someone as lame as me.”

His best friend grinned triumphantly, and Phil knew he was fucked.

-

Being the massive nerd he was, Phil’s solace was the library, which just so happened to be where he worked in between classes. The smell of books and the gentle softness of the pages beneath his fingertips always made him feel relaxed, a cloud of nothing but fantasy and imagination.

The library was also the place where the one and only Dan Howell came to hide when he was bunking off class, hiding on the bean bag chair between two houseplants where he was nearly out of view. Phil always giggled a bit at the sight, leaning forward on the counter a bit as he took in the sight of the grown ass man trying to hide behind a tiny plant.

But today was different.

Phil saw Dan walk in running his hands through perfectly straightened hair. He looked tired, almost panicked. His eyes flitted around the library until they landed on Phil. His face had hardly changed - Dan Howell rarely ever showed much emotion - but he seemed a bit more relaxed now.

Phil’s palms were sweating as Dan smirked and leaned on the counter. He could smell the cigarette fumes mixed with mint chewing gum and some sort of cologne. He remembered the dare and wondered if he could just ignore it and say Dan didn’t fall for him. “Can I help you?” He asked instead, smiling widely (albeit a bit nervously).

Dan’s smirk grew larger as he ruffled his fringe a bit. “Actually yes.” He got a bit closer, and Phil felt faint. “I’ve got a project due next week that I have to do to pass the class since I’m skipping all the time. Can you help me find some books on the Psychoanalytic theory of psychology?”

“Ah,” Phil started, putting the sleeves of his uniform over his palms. He stood up and walked around the counter to lead Dan towards one of the aisles. “All of our Psychology themed books are over here. I’m sure you can find a lot of books that have the information.” He stopped walking and gestured to the shelf labeled ‘Psychology/Counselling’. He kept his gaze down so he didn’t have to look Dan in the eye, but it was getting increasingly hard to breathe with the guy standing right next to him.

“Thanks, sweet cheeks,” Dan said cheekily. Phil watched as the brunette took out a piece of gum and popped it into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. Then he grinned, scuffling Phil’s hair. “Well I better get started then.”

Phil’s cheeks turned a terrible shade of red, muttering something that he didn’t really remember before slinking away. He wanted to smack himself in the face until he died. That was not how you make someone fall in love with you.

He was absolutely hopeless with relationships, especially when it came to cute guys who were more intimidating than his mum when she’s angry.

Dan was back again the next day, this time sitting at a table closer to Phil’s desk. When he concentrated on his work, his eyebrows furrowed and his fingers twirled unconsciously through locks of coffee hair. Phil found that he was unable to look away, watching as Dan’s fingers carefully turned the pages to his textbook like he was caressing a beautiful woman.

Phil wondered how those fingers would feel brushing against his face.

It was then that Dan looked up, smirking a bit as he found Phil already staring at him. Phil could feel heat rise to his cheeks as the brunette summoned him over with a raised hand. He wondered when Dan Howell suddenly wanted to talk to him.

“Can I help you?” Phil asked politely. His fingers twirled together, forming crescents in his palms as he pressed his fingernails into the skin. Dan noticed but didn’t say anything.

“What are you studying in school, pretty boy?” Dan’s voice was smooth, flirty.

“Ah,” Phil stuttered. To say he was expecting the question was an utter lie. “English literature and video production. What about you?”

Dan just gestured silently to the stack of psychology books lying out before him. “Psychology with a minor in French.”

“You don’t look like the kind of guy who would study French.”

He immediately regretted the words that came out of his mouth, but Dan only raised his eyebrows before throwing his head back and laughing. His laugh was uncharacteristically high pitched, showing off a dimple in his cheek that made Phil unable to look away. No wonder this guy has all the ladies on him. Too bad he was most likely straight.

“You look exactly like the kind of guy who would find enjoyment from reading,” Dan retorted. “Tes lunettes sont mignonnes, bel homme.” He winked at the end, causing Phil to believe he may or may not have just said something flirty in a different language. Either way, Phil was fucked.

“What does that mean?” Phil wondered aloud.

Dan clicked his tongue, shrugging with a cheeky expression on his face. “Who knows?” He began to pack his books into his backpack, looking at Phil through long black eyelashes. “I’ll see you around, Phil.”

Phil didn’t have a chance to respond before he was walking out the door, but he decided it was more dangerous to be playing games with Dan Howell than he originally thought.

-

When Chris asked him if Dan had fallen in love with him yet two weeks later, Phil said that Dan had blatantly told him he was straight.

He didn’t care if it was a lie to make the deal go away. He just didn’t trust himself enough not to fall in love with Dan Howell in the process.

-

Dan looked upset.

Maybe other people wouldn’t notice, but after spending god knows how long watching Dan ditch class and spending the past few weeks making small conversation, Phil noticed. He noticed the way that Dan’s lips were tilted downwards, how his eyes were dull, and his dimple wasn’t showing. Not to mention the fact that he didn’t try to flirt with Phil as soon as he showed up.

“Are you okay?” Phil asked. His voice was laced with worry and he sat in the chair across from Dan without hesitation because apparently they were friendly enough to do that now.

Dan didn’t respond at first, just staring blankly at Phil until he processed what was happening. “Uh, yeah,” he said slowly before shaking his head. “I failed my project so I probably have to retake my class. I’m just having kind of a mental breakdown I suppose.”

Phil opened his mouth to say how Dan doesn’t look like the type of guy to be sad over that before thinking better of it. Dan was human as well, even if he smelled like cigarettes and ditched class. He has feelings and emotions just like the rest of the human population, so of course he would be upset over this. “Maybe that’s not so bad, though,” Phil said instead. Dan looked at him in confusion. “I had to retake my maths class in high school and the second time around, I got a much better grade and actually understood the material. As long as you go to class, I know you’ll do well because you’re smarter than you think you are and you have the potential to do something great. Don’t give up just because of a stupid grade for a class. No one is good at everything the first time around.”

Dan stared at him for a moment, eyes the colour of hot chocolate on a winter day, before he sighed and laid his head on the desk. “Tu es un ange,” he muttered under his breath. “I don’t understand how you can be so uplifting all the time.”

Phil smiled, resisting the urge to place a hand on Dan’s shoulder. “I try.”

“Un soleil, littéralement,” Dan moaned into his arms, the fabric of his jumper muffling his voice a bit.

“Do you always talk in French?” Phil teased, but he was a bit happier that Dan seemed to be somewhat more relaxed.

“Oui. Je fais ça comme sa personne ne peut me comprendre” After a glare and gentle shove from Phil, Dan repeated himself in english, “I do it so people can’t understand me when I don’t want them to know what I’m saying.”

“So you’re a tease.”

If Phil wasn’t half blind and probably in need of a new eyeglass prescription, he would say he saw Dan’s cheeks turn a bit pink. “I’m not a tease.”

“Sorry,” Phil answered, grinned. “I forgot, You’re a huge tease.”

“That was the worst comeback ever.” But Dan was smiling and Phil felt accomplished that he could make someone as badass as Dan Howell smile big enough to show the dimple in his cheek.

-

Phil was fucked. He was running late for an exam, and if he was tardy, he would most likely get a failing grade on it. Not up to him, of course, but solely because his teacher was a major dickwad who wanted nothing more than to watch as the rest of the world crashed and burned around him.

But of course he had to come across something that would make him even later, because he was Phil Lester and nothing ever went the way he wanted. 

“Phil!” A voice called from his left, making his pace slow down so he could see who was calling his name. He was sure that his cheeks were red, face sweaty, and fringe sticking to his forehead from running, but he tried not to pay attention to that and instead focused on Dan, who was currently waving to him.

Phil didn’t quite understand why Dan was even saying anything to him. He was surrounded by a group of people, most wearing leather jackets, and was sucking smoke into his lungs from a cigarette. There was a pretty girl pressed into his side with blue eyes framed by winged eyeliner and silver blonde hair. Dan, however, seemed uninterested in her as he grinned widely at Phil. “Hi?” Phil questioned in response, not being able to hide his confusion.

Dan rolled his eyes at him and let out a puff of smoke almost right in the face of the pretty girl. She crinkled her nose in disgust and backed away slightly and that made Phil feel some sort of happiness. “I was just talking about you and that joli visage de la vôtre.”

“My what?”

One of Dan’s friends with curly brown hair and green eyes laughed and shoved Dan. “He’s bein’ a fucking flirt, mate,” he snorted, but his face was soft. Why were these hard ass guys being nice to a nerd like Phil? “He basically called your face cute.”

Dan frowned at his friend. Phil didn’t turn a blind eye on the fact that Dan had even kicked Mr. Curly’s foot. The girl beside him looked mildly annoyed. “Anyways,” Dan snorted. “I was just telling my mates about all the help you gave me, and how you look super cute with glasses on.” Phil blushed and was annoyed at himself for doing so. “So, these are my friends. Pj, Louise, Chase, and Kevin.” The girl beside him scowled and nudged his arm, making him laugh loudly. “Sorry, forgot. This is Layken.”

Phil smiled at everyone nervously. He wondered if Dan would let him go soon because he really needed to be in class. “It’s nice to meet you guys, but I’m sorry I really have to go. I have an exam today in- FUCK, right now, shit.”

“Why don’t you just skip with us?” Pj proposed, the outline of a smirk on his lips. “The professors typically don’t take off points if you email them and say you’re sick. They just give you a makeup test day.”

Phil gnawed harshly on his lip. He couldn’t actually skip class, could he? Especially not with a bunch of smokers who only cared about sex and how many cigarettes they could smoke at once. But he found himself agreeing without his consent, relishing in the way Dan’s dimple appeared with his answer.

He supposed Dan maybe wasn’t as scary as he originally thought.

They ended up heading over to Louise’s flat. The reason for this being that she was the only one of them who lived off campus with her own place. Phil bet that Chris would have a heart attack if he knew where he was right now.

“Do you smoke, Phil?” Louise asked when they were emerging into her house.

Dan answered for him, giving her a hard stare as he shoved (well, more like gently removed) Layken off of his arm. “No, he doesn’t.”

Louise raised her eyebrows. “Est-il un ange?”

Phil was ever annoyed that everyone seemed to know French except for himself. He should have paid attention in french class.

“Oui, littéralement un rayon de soleil .”

His answer seemed to satisfy Louise, making her smile smugly at Phil. “He’s such a cutie, Dan,” she cooed as she pinched his cheeks.

Phil blushed. “I’m hardly anything special.”

“Bullshit,” Chase’s voice coughed from the kitchen.

Dan ignored Chase, instead giving Phil a soft smile. He tried not to think about how much he had been talked about to Dan’s friends, because it obviously wasn’t the first they’d heard of him. “Did you need something to eat? I’m sorry for trying to corrupt you and making you skip. I know education means a lot to you.”

Shrugging, Phil replied while trying not to make eye contact with the group of people around him, staring at him. “I think I’m okay on the eating part, and it’s really no big deal. I probably should be able to miss at least a few days of school per term, I’m just a pansy.”

The group smiled at him, and maybe Phil was a little pissed at himself for skipping class, but he later had to admit that this was the most fun he’d had in months.

-

Unknown Number  
12:36 am  
You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.

Phil Lester  
12:40 am  
Who is this?

-

Phil’s eyes burned when his alarm went off, making him scowl and slam his hand against the sleep disturber with unwarranted force. The same hand then grabbed his cell phone, sighing when he had no unread messages except for one from his mum with a picture of their dog wearing a party hat.

His phone was part of the reason he couldn’t sleep last night, thanks to someone texting him and then never responding. He had a brief thought that it could be Dan Howell, since he was the only new person that Phil had started talking to. But that suspicion diminished when he reminded himself of who, exactly, Dan was in the first place.

A badass who had a new girl on his arm every day and smoked a pack of cigarettes in three days. (He didn’t care if the first part was quite untrue as he learned, but it still convinced him of how the anonymous texter was definitely not Dan).

“Woah,” Chris commented, raising his eyebrows when he took one look at Phil. They always had a tradition where they went to get a coffee from a small cafe before Phil went to work on Fridays. He quite liked the place; it smelled of home and had cute drawings of each coffee with the ingredients on a huge blackboard. Plus, they played Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jr songs a lot, which is always a plus. “You look like death. Not sleep well last night?”

Phil shook his head, lips pressed together as he took a sip of his Soy Chai Latte. He always had the drink made with soy milk just because it made it a lot sweeter and more enjoyable. “I got a weird text,” he mumbled, pulling out his phone. “They never texted back so I couldn’t sleep properly.”

His friend read the text before pulling away with a smirk. “Sounds like someone’s got a secret admirer. Is it Dan?”

Phil groaned. “I doubt it.”

“Pj said you were hanging out with them and that Dan couldn’t keep his eyes off of you.” Ah yes, Pj. Chris’ friend and object of affection, who just so happened to be friends with Dan. “I thought you said he was straight?”

Another low grown admitted from Phil’s throat. He rubbed his eyes tiredly. “Look, can we be serious for a moment, Chris?”

Immediately, Chris allowed himself to show his listening face. He was always good about leaving the jokes aside to listen to Phil’s constant bitching. “Of course.”

“I said that because I didn’t want to go through with the dare. I’m sorry for lying to you, I really am, but once I got to know Dan, I got really scared. Dan isn’t at all like what people say he is. He likes pretty things and talks in french when he says something embarrassing so that people don’t understand him. He frustrates the hell out of me for that, but it’s endearing. And he’s got this cute fucking dimple and these eyes that light up when he talks about something he cares about. I just want to-,” Phil brings up his hands and claps them together, scrunching up his face, “squish his face.”

“Squish his face?” Chris mused, but he was smiling. Encouraging Phil to go on. This is why he was Phil’s best friend.

“He’s got a squishy face, Chris,” Phil replied seriously. But the look on Chris’ face made them both burst into little giggles, the coffee on the table sitting untouched. It was nice to laugh like this, just him and his best friend.

Chris leaned over the table to put a reassuring hand on Phil’s shoulder, a grin on his face. “Well from what Peej is telling me, he thinks you’re the literal human embodiment of sunshine. Can’t argue with that one.”

“Is that what he means by ‘soleil littéralement’?” It was all coming together in Phil’s mind.

“You’re finally catching on.”

They were interrupted by Phil’s phone buzzing on the table, and Phil would be lying if he said he didn’t basically fling himself onto it.

Unknown Number  
11:46 am  
I miss your face when you’re not around.

Phil nearly squealed, his face heating up bright red as he tried to formulate a response. Chris had that damned knowing smile on his face, but he didn’t say anything, which Phil was grateful for.

Phil Lester  
11:47 am  
I’m sure I would miss your face too x

They responded moments later with a smiley face, and Phil could have sworn he melted inside. He didn’t text back because he had to get to work, but he was left with a constant wonder on his mind of who was actually texting him.

“You seem chipper today.” It was the first thing Dan had said to him when he waltzed into the library that day, a smirk on his lips as he leaned over the counter to watch as Phil wrote down the numbers for a rented book into a log.

Phil met his eyes and shrugged, but he was smiling. “Just a good day, I suppose,” he mused.

“Mm,” Dan hummed while rolling his eyes, completely unconvinced. “Whatever you say, monsieur joyeux.” He leaned back, resting his chin on his arms that were crossed over the counter. His fringe was in his eyes a bit, making Phil screw up his face as he reached a hand up to fix it. He mentally cringed afterwards, wondering if that was crossing the line. But Dan’s eyes only glowed under his touch, the aura surrounding him filled with warmth. “Are you busy tonight?”

Phil cocked an eyebrow. “Not particularly,” he responded slowly. “Why?”

“The new Mockingjay is out and I found a stream of it on my laptop. Do you want to come watch it with me?”

Dan’s eyes were pleading in a way that made Phil know his answer as soon as the question was brought up. He pretended to ponder it anyways. “Hmm,” he drew out, rubbing his finger on his chin. “Not really. Why would I want to see anything with the likes of you?” His voice was teasing, warm like hot chocolate when Dan scoffed in mock offense and ruffled Phil’s dark hair in an attempt to mess it up. He wondered if Dan knew how enamoured he was with him. “I would like that.”

A grin split Dan’s face in half. “Amazing, I’ll expect you at my place at eight o'clock on the dot. No sooner, no later. Got it?” He tried to sound intimidating, but the effect was ruined by his loud and interrupting giggle. How did anyone ever find Dan Howell intimidating when he could look like this?

Phil was definitely going to squish his face.

When seven thirty rolled around, Phil could feel himself getting nauseous. It was prominent in the way his palms were profusely sweating, forcing him to wipe them on his nicest pair of black skinny jeans. He made sure his fringe was perfect, even going so far as to put in his favourite red plaid shirt on. He always liked how sophisticated it made him look with his glasses, exactly like the nerdy librarian he truly was.

The buzzing of his phone alerted him of a text and he sighed when he picked it up. Immediately, his face turned red when he saw it was from his 'secret admirer’.

Unknown Number  
7:38 pm  
Your eyes put the ocean to shame.

He decided ultimately to just send a heart emoji back, too nervous to think up a witty response. Instead, he slid the phone into his pocket and waltzed out the door, locking it behind him. The air was cold as it greeted him with a wispy kiss, nipping at his nose and cheeks, and he chastised himself for not thinking of bringing a jacket.

Thankfully, Dan’s flat was supposedly only a good five to ten minute walk, making it a bit easier to man up and take the cold like a warrior from the movie 300. By the time he reached the bundle of flats, Phil couldn’t feel his nose or his arms, and he was pretty sure his lips were beginning to turn blue.

He never knocked on a door so fast in his life.

A few moments passed, in which Phil wondered if he’d got the right house, before Dan opened the door with a bright grin on his face, hair slightly ruffled as if he’d been laying down. “Phil!” He greeted, eyes widening a bit at Phil’s shivering state. “You look… Cold?”

Phil rolled his eyes in mock anger. “I have made a mistake.”

“I can see that,” Dan chuckled. He moved aside and put an arm around Phil’s shoulders to lead him inside. Phil settled a bit under the warmth and comfort of Dan’s body heat, unconsciously snuggling into his side. “I hope it’s okay that we watch the movie on my laptop in my bed. If not, we could always move it to the couch but I figured the bed would be a bit more comfortable.” Phil nodded quickly, trying not to think of him and Dan lying in bed together. “Great, then I’ll tuck you in and go make us some hot chocolate to thaw you a bit.”

He led them to a room that was mostly filled with black furniture. There were fairy lights covering the bedpost and a black, grey, and white checkered bedspread that was almost an exact replica of Phil’s despite the fact that it was colourless compared to his own. He crawled under the covers slowly, feeling a tad strange from the way Dan was watching him with a warm smile. But that faded away as he nestled himself under the duvet, sighing as warmth encompassed his body.

“I’ll be right back,” Dan said, giving him one last grin before disappearing from the room.

Phil allowed himself to relax into the pillows, giving one last shiver as he turned himself into a living burrito. He dug his nose into the black fabric, sighing as the smell of Dan overcame all of his senses. The way that Dan smelled was a bit hard to describe. It was like a warm hug on a cold winter day or a rainbow after the rain. Immediately after the thought, Phil resisted the urge to scream into the pillow from how absolutely disgusting he was being.

Dan walked in then and he gave Phil a warm smile as he handed Phil a mug with a picture of a cat on it. Upon closer inspection, Phil saw the words, 'Crazy Cat Lady’ scrawled under the cat. He chuckled.

Dan is really something else.

“I see you’ve become a burrito already,” Dan commented, startling Phil with the comment. Apparently they were more alike than he’d originally thought. He nodded, watching as Dan lifted the covers up and shuffled underneath them as well. He was a few inches away from Phil, the only part of them touching were their arms, that were now brushing together. He tried to ignore the need that surfaced to curl into Dan’s side.

Instead, he took a sip of his hot chocolate, the warm drink immediately thawing his face a bit. He watched in silence as Dan pulled up the movie on his laptop, staring at the earring in Dan’s left ear. He didn’t remember ever seeing an ear piercing there, but maybe he was just ditzy and didn’t notice.

“Are you still cold?” It was only then that he noticed he was still shivering, the tremors making his arm shake against Dan’s. Although he wasn’t particularly cold, and was probably just nervous, he nodded his head. Immediately, Dan grinned at him with soft brown eyes and opened his arms up after setting the laptop on the bed beside them. “Platonic cuddling?”

Phil decided to ignore the way Dan’s voice sounded uncertain and allowed himself to settle into Dan’s open arms, head tucking under Dan’s chin while his back came to rest on Dan’s chest.

“Tu es très confortable,” Dan sighed into Phil’s hair. It was a moment before he finally started the movie, a moment spent where Phil majorly appreciated the warmth and feeling of Dan wrapped around him.

“I should have taken French,” Phil muttered. His eyes were trained on the movie but it was considerably hard to focus when he could literally feel Dan’s breath on the back of his neck. It was only proven to be more distracting with Dan’s sudden chuckle, therefore allowing more warm air to expel onto Phil’s neck. It made him shiver.

He blankly stared at the screen, not hearing any of it. Dan’s fingers were rubbing along the skin of his forearm, so light that it made his hair prick at each individual touch. He shuffled a bit in Dan’s lap.

“You okay?”

At the sound of Dan’s concerned voice, Phil froze. He couldn’t tell Dan that he was unable to concentrate because of him, could he? It would either cause Dan to hate him or to push him away. But there was the slight possibility that Dan could be feeling the same thing too. Just thinking about it made Phil’s throat dry up and his breath come out in a large huff.

“Dan-,” Phil started, turning around a bit in Dan’s grip so he could look him in the face. What he didn’t expect was for Dan’s face to be so close, so close that he could see each freckle on Dan’s cheeks along with the hardly-there blush. His words immediately died in his throat and all he could do was gape wordlessly.

“Yes?” Dan whispered, and Phil was sure he was about to transcend into Hell with the way Dan’s breath brushed against his lips.

“I-,” he couldn’t even get the words out before Dan was leaning forward slowly and Phil was sure he was definitely going to Hell. He figured he may as well embrace it, though, allowing his eyes to flutter shut just in time for him to register the feeling of Dan’s lips brushing against his own.

The last thing Phil expected kissing Dan Howell would be like is feather-soft and gentle, with his leather jacket and black-on-black and cigarettes. But here they were, Dan bringing his fingers up to brush softly against Phil’s cheek. The whole experience was wild in the way that no one would have expected this to happen.

Here they were, a huge ass nerd and a bad ass mother fucker kissing like they were scared to break the other. Wild.

When they pulled away, Phil was sure his face was beef red, but he didn’t mind so much because Dan looked like he was about to pass out. His eyes were glazed over and his face was so pink that he resembled a man who just exercised for the first time in his life. And Phil has never seen a more beautiful person in his entire life.

“You okay?” Phil breathed, laughing inwardly at the irony as they now switched places from earlier.

Dan nodded, eyes shining. His ran a hand through Phil’s hair, staring silently. “Tu es beau,” he eventually got out.

“Did you just call me beautiful?”

“So what if I did?”

Phil smirked mischievously, watching as Dan’s face turned alarm at his sudden mood change. “I’d have to ask you to kiss me again.”

The brunet threw his head back and let out a loud laugh. His entire face lit up and a dimple showed in his cheek, making Phil melt. “I’d have to take you up on that offer.”

They kissed again, but this one left Phil breathless and slightly dizzy. He wanted to do it a thousand more times.

-

Unknown Number  
8:54 am  
Kissing you is my favorite past time <3

Phil Lester  
8:59 am  
I could probably get used to kissing you ;) <3

Dan Howell  
9:02 am  
<3 I might have to kidnap you for the day again

Phil Lester  
9:03 am  
I would let you c:

-

With Christmas fast approaching, Phil was uncertain as to whether or not he should get Dan a present. They hadn’t put an official label onto whatever the fuck they were, but they definitely weren’t just friends. Although they didn’t really talk much while in school other than in the library, they hung out every other day which lead to hand holding, cuddling, and sweet kisses in the middle of playing Mario Kart.

It was strange to think of how fast his perception of Dan had changed. They’d been talking for a little more than a month, and he already knew that most of the rumours pertaining Dan Howell were completely and utterly false. He learned that Dan liked his coffee really sweet, and that he enjoyed cuddling more than kissing a lot of the time. He learned that Dan had curly hair and liked to rub his fingers along Phil’s skin whenever he could - whether that be his arms, cheeks, neck. As long as Dan got to feel him, he was happy. He also learned that Dan really liked dogs and quoting Shakespeare at random moments.

Moments like those, Phil would often roll his eyes and mutter something about Dan being a prat, but that didn’t hide the fact that he was smiling so wide it felt like his face was going to split in half. Those comments were usually followed by Dan blushing (yes, blushing) and leaning over to kiss him on the cheek.

But despite all those facts, Phil was uncertain.

Is this a relationship? They had never explicitly stated they were together, and Phil hated to assume such a thing. He didn’t want to force Dan into anything. On the other hand, this was definitely something, so therefore Phil should probably get his love interest a present, shouldn’t he?

When he asked Chris for advice, his friend just rolled his eyes. “You’re an idiot,” he deadpanned, looking unimpressed.

Phil was taken aback. “How so?”

“You and Howell have gotten implicably close. So close I’m surprised you haven’t actually gone all the way yet.” Phil turned red at the thought. “Buy him a present or I swear to all that is holy that you are the stupidest person to ever walk the Earth.”

Which brings him to now, staring cluelessly at each store as he passes them, wondering what the hell he should get his friend-but-maybe-more. What would Dan even like? He’s pretty hardcore on the outside but a massive nerd on the inside.

After a while of mindless wandering, Phil ended up in a shoe store. Most of the shoes were exactly what Dan wouldn’t wear, including various amounts of running shoes that looked almost exactly the same.

And then he found it- the perfect shoes for Dan Howell. A pair of black shoes with a shitton of spikes all over it. Perfect.

Phil found Dan’s Christmas present, thanking the lord that him and Dan wore roughly the same shoe size. Now he just hoped that Dan would actually appreciate the shoes and not judge him for buying a present. Even if they weren’t necessarily a thing, Phil could always say it was a 'friend present’ since they were close now.

Yeah, a friend present that costs a dick ton of money. But Dan doesn’t need to know that.

Soon enough, it was Christmas, and Dan had invited Phil over for an “After-Present Brunch”. Originally, Phil would have spent the entire day with his family, but he explained to them how important this was so they let him go with raised eyebrows and small smirks.

“Use condoms!” Phil’s mum shouted at him as he closed the door behind him. He flushed and the sounds of her cackles followed him down the street.

Stupid mums and their mum jokes.

The air was chilly, large snowflakes falling from the sky in a disarray of white. They stuck to Phil’s eyelashes and cheeks but he didn’t mind, smiling as he took in the Christmassy aura, until he got into his car at least, and then he was slightly disappointed when having to drive through the snow instead of romantically walking by himself. But he figured he could always do it later.

It was a thirty minute drive from his parents house before he arrived at Dans, hands holding onto the beautifully decorated box of shoes as a way to contain his excitement. It’d been a week too long since he’d last seen Dan and his body was basically going through withdraw by now, craving the warmth that Dan always provided him.

Thoughts like those are what made him knock on the door, it flinging open before he was even completely finished with the third knock.

“Phil!” Dan exclaimed, eyes bright. The exclamation made Phil’s stomach do a squeal at the way his name sounded more like 'Phiw’. Then Dan’s arms were around him and Phil didn’t even care that he was crushing his glasses against his face. All he could focus on is the way Dan was pressing small kissing to his hair and the way Dan smelled like a warm fire.

“Hi,” Phil chuckled when they pulled away, giving Dan a large grin. He held out the box of shoes to him. “I got you a present.”

Dan’s eyes lit up as he took the present. “Ah! I did too, actually.” Tucking the present under his arm, he lead Phil into his flat which was strangely devoid of anyone for Christmastime. He decided to leave that for another day, though. They ended up in the kitchen, which was completely dark except for a very dim glow coming from strings of fairy lights hanging around the ceiling and cabinets. Even the curtains were drawn. On the table, there was an entire feast of eggs, pancakes, bacon, toast, doughnuts, and fruit.

Phil allowed his mouth to drop open. “This is literally the best day of my life,” he moaned at the sight.

Dan laughed. “Do you like it?”

“More than anything.” He leaned over and pecked Dan on the lips just because he could. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you, mon amour.”

They started stacking their plates high with food, and Phil laughed as Dan dropped an entire pancake on the floor. This is what Christmas is about, he thinks. It was probably the best brunch he had ever had. Although that might just be because of Dan.

After eating, Phil pestered Dan until he agreed to open his present. He started to carefully open the wrapping paper without tearing it, making Phil roll his eyes. “Dan, you need to tear it. Stop being an old lady.”

The brunette pouted, eyes sparkling in the dim lighting. “I don’t want to ruin your nice wrapping job.”

“The entire point of wrapping is to tear it open. Now hurry up or I’ll do it for you.”

Dan let out a dramatic sigh followed by an eyeroll but began to rip the paper anyways, eyes widening when he realized it was a shoe box. His mouth fell open when he saw what was inside. “They represent my soul perfectly, Phil!” He exclaimed. He had a grin so large that the dimple was showing in his cheek and Phil just wanted to reach over and poke it. “Thank you so much!”

“You’re welcome.” Phil accepted a kiss on the lips, not even minding too much when Dan pulled Phil to his feet. It was then that Phil knew he was in far too deep. The way Dan was looking at him with stars in his eyes as if he was the entire sky, Phil just wanted to hold the man close and never let him escape.

“This is my favourite Christmas song,” Dan told him suddenly, and it was only then that Phil realized there was soft music wafting from a small speaker by the stove. And it just happened to be All I Want for Christmas is You by Mariah Carey.

This is extremely romantic for them not even being boyfriends.

The thought made Phil flush, his cheeks becoming so hot that he was afraid his palms would start sweating all over Dan’s. Even if they were, Dan didn’t seem to mind. Instead, he just took one of Phil’s hands in his and put the other on Phil’s waist. Phil, in return, looked at him quizzically until he gave Phil a devious grin, starting to waltz and swing their bodies around the room to the music. Phil’s glasses even almost flung off from the intensity of it.

After only a few seconds, Phil was already dizzy, but he supposed that’s what made it all the more fun. He began to get into it, singing along and grabbing Dan by the waist so he could do one of those cliché movie 'kiss-and-tips’. Except it wasn’t really kissing much and was more giggling while their teeth clanged together awkwardly.

It was the most childish Phil had ever seen Dan, his hair even beginning to curl at the ends from the excessive movements. He decided that he liked this Dan the best, when he was so carefree that he didn’t have to worry about the way he looked or how he had to be 'too cool for school’. Dan was just Dan and Phil fucking loved it.

When the music stopped, they were completely out of breath. Phil felt like his lungs were on fire, but it was hard to tell if it was from the exercise or the way Dan was looking at him. Dan’s head fell forward into Phil’s collarbone with a large giggle and a content sigh.

The shirt muffled his voice as he mumbled, “S'il te plaît sois mon petit ami.”

“What?” Phil asked, bringing a hand to Dan’s hair to ruffle the curling locks. He pressed a kiss to his head.

Dan lifted his head up and his face was filled with utter amusement. “Guess you’ll never know until you learn french,” he teased.

Phil pouted and shoved him much lighter than intended. “Please, Dan?”

Letting out an exasperated sigh, he let out a drawn out, “Fine.” He leaned forward and kissed Phil on the nose before going on to say, “I said, 'Please be my boyfriend.’” His words got quieter as he continued speaking, but Phil heard him perfectly. He felt like he was on fire.

“Your boyfriend?” He squeaked. He had to make sure he hadn’t heard incorrectly.

Dan’s expression was sheepish as if he was afraid Phil would turn him down. “Yeah, I just really like you and I think you’re perfect. I’ve thought you were intriguing since that day in the library but each day I kept thinking of how much I wanted to kiss you. And now that I can kiss you, I just want more. I want to take you on cute little dates and feed you stupid little bites of ice cream and leave marks on your neck to show that you’re mine, and maybe even have you pound me into the-”

“DAN!” Phil cut him off, face annoyingly bright red at what was about to come out of Dan’s mouth. He was smiling though, which made Dan immediately stop talking with a silly grin on his face.

“Or maybe you can bottom, I’m pretty versatile-.”

“Dan.” Phil tried to make his voice even more firm but it was failing pretty badly with laughter bubbling out of his chest like a carbonated drink. He took one of Dan’s hands in his to press a kiss to his palm, looking up at the man through his eyelashes. “I would love to be your boyfriend. More than anything.”

His new boyfriend let out a noise that reminded him of a happy cat and flung his arms around Phil, squeezing so tight it knocked the air out of him. He was littering kisses all over Phil’s shoulder and neck, so feather light that it made his eyelashes flutter shut at the feeling.

Did Dan think Phil would say no?

“Je t'aime,” Dan sighed into Phil’s skin.

Phil smiled softly and hooked his fingers under Dan’s chin so he could press their lips together once again. “I like you too, Dan.”

fin.

-

French translations: 

"Tes lunettes sont mignonnes, mon beau garçon.” - Your glasses are cute, beautiful man.   
“Tu es un ange.” - You are an angel.  
“un Soleil ,littéralement.” - Literal sunshine.   
"oui. je fais ça comme sa personne ne peut me comprendre" - Yes. I do it so people can’t understand me.  
“Ce Joli visage qui est le vôtre.” - cute face of yours.  
“Est-il un ange?” - Is he an angel?  
“Oui,littéralement un rayon de soleil .” - Yes, a literal ray of sunshine.  
“monsieur joyeux.” - Mister Joyful.   
“Tu es très confortable.” - You are very comfortable.   
“Tu es beau.” - You are beautiful.  
“Mon amour.” - My love.  
“S'il te plaît sois mon petit ami.” - Please be my boyfriend.  
“Je t’aime.” - I like you.


End file.
